My Very First Criminal Rehabilitation Experience

Never ever will I break the law. I never fathomed traffic school could be such a mortifying experience. Ok- maybe I exaggerated just a teeny bit. I sat there for three hours, marveling at how much it felt like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting but more like Traffic Offenders Anonymous. "I've never had a ticket before... why did I get a ticket... I got a ticket for going 18 over in a residential area... Look at my ticket, my cop was ruthless... blah blah blah..." Also, the officer-instructor looked like Jim Carrey and had quite a vibrant personality. It was't as heinous as I had anticipated it to be-- but I certainly would not choose to go again. After watching videos and pictures of mashed cars, I came out of traffic school never wanting to drive ever again. If that is the purpose of traffic school- then I applaud Orem City. Unfortunately for them, I forget easily.

I'm sure many of you are wondering how I became a criminal in the first place. A few weeks ago, for the first time in my life, I received a speeding ticket. How fast was I going? 30. Yes that's three-zero. On a 20mph construction zone, which meant Double FINES!!! Where? In front of Walmart at 11:30 at night. I was on my way home after buying soymilk and cantaloupe--I mean, talk about some sketchy actions leading to criminal behavior. I apparently ZOOMED by the elusive cop in Walmart's shadows, and lo and behold, I was readily greeted by the blinding blue & red flashes. After a few curt, condescending words, the cop went away for what seemed a million minutes, and came back with the ticket saying, (please note the bold) "let me tell you something. I would much rather be fighting drug dealers out on the streets or other criminal activities. But this is also a part of my job." And then he hands me the ticket. Way to pour gasoline on a burning fire. I was IRATE. First he gives me a freaking ticket and then he pretty much tells me he's giving it to me because he's a loser and is bored.

My most important lesson learned from this experience: Boycott Walmart.

Walmart has been nothing but bad luck to me since last fall. I managed to boycott it for nearly two months last semester- I may have to do it once more this semester. No Walmart= no bored cop=no ticket=happy face :)